Contemporary love is considered to be more open-minded compared to the relationship our parents share. Patriarchal gender roles that subject women to submissive positions in relationships prescribes it. However, a female led relationship, also called FLR, is a chance for couples to modify gender norms and build a less male-dominated relationship.
We develop a compilation of expectations about our gender, norms that we may prefer to adhere to. It is because of school, work, the media, our families and any other way in life. Since our community is still mainly dominated by men, often, the gender expectations are constrained to set the power in male hands. A more subservient role is occupied by the female. They often become the main caregivers of kids and take the primary responsibility of domestic duties.
In generations gone by, these roles were unbreakable and sometimes even enforced by law. Today, as more women seek careers and goals outside the home, some couples feel misrepresented in conventional relationships. A Female led relationship gives the couples room to discover alternative opportunities of dominance in their relationships. It may build a more egalitarian structure than what the community typically allows for. Here’s everything you need to comprehend about an FLR, how to track one, and why this kind of relationship might work for you.
What is a Female Led Relationship?
There is no formal description for a female-led relationship (FLR). The FLR relationship means the woman may have the authority to break the old-fashioned assumption that the man should always be in charge. In FLR, the man might be the one who primarily prepares food, cleans, does housework, and stays home with the children. While the woman works and makes sure the bills are settled. In another sense, the dynamics might seem more traditional. Although, the woman acts as the main decision-maker and head of the household.
The FLR Rules
To properly understand what a female-led relationship is, some rules can assist to ascertain what Female lead relationship is all about.
- When it comes to household decision-making, the female takes most if not all the decisions. Her other half can share his input and his views, and she can consider it.
- Many of the monetary decisions are also in the controls of the female. Her male partner trusts and regards her decisions and how she prefers to handle things.
- In FLR, household chores and responsibilities are divided between the female and the male. The male may be the one managing chores like cleaning, cooking, etc.
- With her influential position of authority, the female can select to use that to oversee or encourage her male partner to work on self-improvement. Those improvements can be removing vices such as extreme drinking and smoking.
- The female also takes management of the social calendar, making choices concerning the social gatherings and events to visit.
Types of Female Led Relationships
Female led relationship can be classified into four various types based on the level of intensity.
Low Control
In this type of relationship, the woman has moderate authority. The family decisions are taken by the woman after consulting with the man. The woman holds the reigns in most scenarios. However, the male partner permits her to do so and may oppose her authority from time to time.
Moderate Control
In this type of FLR, the woman leads for a while and dominates the man from time to time. It not only increases her confidence but also lifts her morale. It makes their relationship more positive and resolute. The man usually enjoys the dominant role of his woman and adheres to her needs. The woman often makes all the daily decisions. But she also lingers within the limits of how far they both are amenable to go as far as authority is involved.
Defined Control
In this kind of FLR, the woman solely makes most decisions. They also take up the man’s role. However, the sections where she shows her dominance are limited. There is a clear boundary ensured and both partners are satisfied.
Extreme Control
In this sort of relationship, the woman exerts ultimate power. The man serves the woman completely. This sort of relationship is for women who choose to retain the ultimate power in their relationships.
The Good
While there are benefits unique to both women and men in female led relationships, there are also overall gains from these types of relationships that both companions can enjoy equally:
Transparent Communication
Female led relationships are formed on the foundation of honesty and clarity. These types of relationships need understanding from both partners, and the enthusiasm to accommodate the requirements of each individual.
Whereas conventional relationships leave no scope for development and growth. Female led relationship give both partners the space to tell each other what they want and what they anticipate from each other.
However, having a transparent conversation with a man isn’t always simple.
Why? Because male and female minds are different.
For instance, the limbic system is the emotional processing hub of the brain. It’s much higher in the female brain than in a man’s.
That’s why women are deeper in touch with their sentiments. And why guys can struggle to prepare their feelings and interact with their partner healthily.
Family-First Decisions
When one person has the sole power to make the decisions in a relationship, this can often lead to a toxic and hurtful dynamic. The person neglects to prioritize the well-being and joy of those around them.
Ancestral male-led relationships often come into the trap. The man gets so habitual to only worry about themselves that they often make incorrect and regressive decisions for the family.
With a relationship established on communication and consultation, there will be a higher chance that the entire family avails from better decisions.
Less Burden on Defined Roles
There is the universal man archetype – masculine, tough, emotionally withdrawn, headfirst, and bold. The traditional woman archetype – shy, family-first, caring, affectionate, docile, quiet.
The problem with these conventional roles is that we don’t always fit into them. We can be compelled to the point of severe unhappiness in our struggles to be people that we are not.
Female led relationships enable people to perform the roles they were naturally born to do. Whether that indicates a man raising children and preparing dinner or a woman acting as the breadwinner.
Benefits of FLR For Women
- FLR gives women a reasonable opportunity to make meaningful decisions, innovations, and contributions to their household. She can do this without having to go through a male’s consent first.
- A relationship will strengthen when the female senses that her companion contributes more support, consideration, and care, by treating her as an equal.
- There is less of a control struggle in a female-led relationship, as the roles are clear. The woman can make her choices peacefully, perceiving that she has her partner’s support.
- For some women, having power over their relationship, household, children, finances, and everything else, is just a part of their character. This kind of relationship hinders them from feeling suppressed.
- While it is a disputed issue, some women feel that an FLR provides them more control of their partner. It also allows them to improve bad habits and encourage them to be better.
- It sets definite roles in the relationship and eliminates any power struggles that a couple might encounter.
- Having clear roles in the relationship decreases fights. Both partners know what they’re accountable for and less likely to quarrel over small decisions.
Benefits of FLR For Men:
It can be a little more perplexing for men because it may seem like giving up the authority and control that a more traditional relationship gives them. But actually, FLRs have a lot of perks for men too. Here are a few speculations why some men voluntarily and happily get into an FLR.
- Takes the pressure of a leadership role off of men who would prefer not to have the burden. It frees them from a position of authority that they might otherwise have been compelled to take.
- Some men would prefer to embrace a homely lifestyle and the gentler role in a relationship such as looking after kids, managing the home, preparing food and cleaning, and earning less income without the pressure of being the breadwinner.
- Men in a female led relationship can acknowledge their partner more, and fully identify their worth. They see their companions as equals, rather than as beneath them.
- Some men like this power dynamic. A man who allows an FLR willingly won’t object to being dominated by his wife. As a result, he may even be more attracted to his woman.
- When a woman is in charge of the relationship, the man believes he doesn’t have to fret about making any tough choices that will affect him, her, and the relationship.
- Some guys who allow their life decisions to be executed by a female figure, such as his mother, prefer to let a woman take control.
- Unlike the ancient days, men are now properly equipped to understand their partner’s value as more of an equal. This permits them to apprehend fully and know their partners’ worth.
The Bad
There is a flip side, too, of this sort of relationship. Some of the concerns are:
- Social stigma and conventional beliefs of society can negatively influence an FLR relationship/marriage.
- A man who is being dominated might be too frightened to oppose even if the relationship no longer pleases him.
- The burden of being in charge can be stressful for a woman.
- Men who do more traditional women’s parts may not be as skilled at multitasking.
- A partner who is too needy can become bothersome.
- If a man becomes displeased with the arrangement, he may consider not speaking up.
- Social stigmas could lead to negative remarks and responses from friends and family.
- Higher levels of female led relationship could drive a decline in personal identity.
Maintaining a balance in FLR
No matter whether you are in a female led relationship, a male led one, or an equivalent one, every relationship type has its collection of trials. So, maintaining balance is always critical. No two people can be satisfied in a relationship if only one person performs all the decision making task, and the other has no say in it.
So, FLR type 4 is not a possibility for many people as it is deemed too extreme. On the other hand, type 1 is regarded as too mild. So, most couples try to type 2 or type 3 to assure that their relationship stays solid.
Women who are in a female led relationship can do a lot to sustain the much-required stability. The simplest thing that can be done is to encourage your man to take more action and contribute to the relationship as much as he can. Another golden rule the woman must memorize is to always appreciate the partner. Mutual respect is essential to sustain any relationship.
If you are in a female led relationship and sense that the balance is off or there is something awry with the way you interact, talk it out with your partner. Another option could be to get expert help to re-establish better stability. If these things fail you could take a rest for a while and then start afresh.
Keeping everyone satisfied
A female led relationship is just like any other relationship: the ultimate purpose is enhancing the lives of both partners through satisfaction, companionship, and love. When you start reminiscing about the relationship itself more than you think about the emotion that comes with it, something has gone amiss.
Remember – don’t overpower anything. Just as much as men and women should no longer force themselves into old male led relationships, neither should they push themselves into female led relationships just to feel reformist. Your priority is your affection for each other, nothing else. Do what works for you – explore the roles and lines that feel normal in your partnership. And in that satisfaction, thrive.
Conclusion
There is a proverb, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy,” which indicates that keeping a woman happy is essential to a strong relationship and family life. Most women have a central desire for communication, so it can be said that the most satisfying relationships are not necessarily female led. But based on good interaction and comprehending out what works best for both people.
